Mountain Biking with the President

People keep asking me why the President of the United States has scabs on his face. I went to Texas with him to help out with his daffodils, and he insisted that I go on the mountain bike ride. It rained hard a week before the accident, so there were some gullies. At the beginning of the ride, Joshua the secret service agent told us all to watch out for the prairie dogs and gullies. It just so happened that a prairie dog bolted out in front of us, and Mr. George veered straight off into the gully, flipped over the front of his bike, and landed on his face and shoulder.

The secret service guy helped Mr. George up while I straightened out his bike and wiped off his water bottle, which had fallen out of its cage. Mike asked Mr. George why he didn't lift his tire over the gully and Mr. George said, "If someone had told me that there would be a prairie dog in that spot, and if someone had told me not to ride in that gully, I would have done something about it." Then Mr. George got back on his bike and kept riding as if nothing happened. When we got back to the ranch house, Mr. George was upset. He ordered me and some other guys to kill all the prairie dogs on his ranch. After we killed about a third of the prairie dogs, he told us to nevermind the prairie dogs, start going after the armadillos.