I am one of President George W. Bush's gardeners. Mr. George likes to talk to me.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Bombing Iraqi Homosexuals

Mr. George came up to me outside the White House while I was trimming the rose bushes, so I asked him what all the fuss was about. He told me that the reporters wanted to know why we bombed the bejeesus out of a wedding party in Iraq. So I said, well, why did we bomb the bejeesus out of the wedding party? And he said it's top secret. I said I wouldn't tell anyone and come on, Mr. George, I have a right to know. So that's when he whispered the reason to me: "A top general told me it was two homosexuals getting married. We're building a nation over there, and we need to nip that whole sodomy thing in the butt."

But then I asked about the wedding singer that got killed. Was he a homosexual too? And Mr. George said that collaborative damage was part of war, and that these Iraqis are not innocent. That wedding singer was a Baathist, and he liked to sing love songs by The Magnetic Fields.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My heck, is this really real? I mean everything except for the Electromagnetics or whatever, there's no way a band could be called that. But the rest of it, is it real?

June 3, 2004 at 10:48 PM


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