Bombing Iraqi Homosexuals

Mr. George came up to me outside the White House while I was trimming the rose bushes, so I asked him what all the fuss was about. He told me that the reporters wanted to know why we bombed the bejeesus out of a wedding party in Iraq. So I said, well, why did we bomb the bejeesus out of the wedding party? And he said it's top secret. I said I wouldn't tell anyone and come on, Mr. George, I have a right to know. So that's when he whispered the reason to me: "A top general told me it was two homosexuals getting married. We're building a nation over there, and we need to nip that whole sodomy thing in the butt."

But then I asked about the wedding singer that got killed. Was he a homosexual too? And Mr. George said that collaborative damage was part of war, and that these Iraqis are not innocent. That wedding singer was a Baathist, and he liked to sing love songs by The Magnetic Fields.