I am one of President George W. Bush's gardeners. Mr. George likes to talk to me.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Chatting with Karl Rove

I like talking to all the White House folks, especially when Mr. George is on vacation, even if all they want to do is complain or ask quetions. Karl Rove is a busy man, so he doesn't spend as much time out here in the garden as he did a couple years ago. Today was an exception. He came right up to me and started talking.

"We've got a technical problem, Lenny," Mr. Karl was wincing and rubbing his hands. "I was hoping you could help us out."

"To record Fox News," I said for the hundredth time, "put the TV on channel 3, and then change the VCR channel to 18."

"No, it's not about that this time. It's about the Vice-President."

"Mr. Dick?"

"Right, Mr. Cheney. He's not responding well to visual stimuli."

"Have you removed his face plate and checked his positronic network?"

"Yes, and we ran a diagnostic on the neural membrane. Nothing turned up. Then we cleared the cache buffer, replaced the lithium battery, and tested the spark plug. Same problem."

"The Vice-President has a spark plug?" I asked.

"Oh, golly gee, never mind," Mr. Karl said. He starting looking at the ground and mumbling a plan. "We'll just bump up the terror alert level and send the Veep to Offutt Air Force Base. Maybe the folks in Nebraska can fix him." Then he looked up at me, as if he just realized he was talking out loud. "Thanks, Lenny. The flowers look great."

Mr. Karl sure is a nice man.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course, you stole the robot idea from Jon Stewart, but this made me laugh out loud. Very funny.

June 2, 2004 at 5:02 AM


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