I am one of President George W. Bush's gardeners. Mr. George likes to talk to me.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Readers Respond

I would like to start today's message by thanking those readers who poured out their heart-felt sympathies to me regarding the ferocious attack of the killer cicadas. In a way, it was good to hear about other people's troubles with these evil insects. Yes, I am sad now, but I will get over this crisis in time. Some trees die, others grow strong, and the cycle of life shall continue, even if John Kerry wins the election. However, I do not appreciate those readers who find humor in stately trees being killed by vile pests. Here's the email of the day:

ha ha you're trees are dying!!! your stupid and your face is stupid and i hope the cicadas eat all the trees and flowers at your stupid wite house I think your dumn and i think mr. george is a dumnass. why dont you trying shoving the dead insecks up yore butt maybe that will help ha ha ha!!! ;-{

How on earth would inserting the cicada remains into one's anal cavity help the situation? I am an old man! And please use appropriate punctuation and capitalization in your messages. It is obvious from this message and others that some children are indeed being left behind. What gives me hope is that Mr. George's groundbreaking educational reforms will require states to finally spend the millions of dollars required to adequately test students and to keep parents informed of their children's progress. It is too late for such reforms to help you, foul reader, but perhaps the next generation will learn to respect the English language.


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