Accountibility for Abu Ghraib

Many of my readers have accused me of being a Democrat. I am not a Democrat. I am a Barry Goldwater Republican. I support George W. Bush. I think he is a great man with a highly inquisitive mind, and he has surrounded himself with leaders who are interested only in the good of the free people of the world, and in making the world ready for the apocalypse.

Like everyone else, I was shocked by the manner in which the United States prison guards treated detainees in Abu Ghraib. A few weeks ago, before his vacation, I asked Mr. George if this was the act of a few sadistic prison guards, or if it was the natural consequence of flawed policies. Mr. George was quick to respond.

"These guards were at fault, yes, but it was mainly the result of bad policy," said Mr. George.

"But everyone else is saying that it's just a few bad apples," I said. I'm a gardener, so I sometimes like to use gardening metaphors.

"Nope. It was caused by the carelessness of the leaders. It goes way up the chain of command. Every general, and every admiral, and every corporal — all the big guys — should have known about these fancy new digitized cameras, and they should have done something about it."

"But the problem wasn't the digital cameras, it was the systematic abuse of detainees that violates national and international rules of conduct."

"No, it was the digified cameras. Look, those Iraqis weren't innocent. They had it coming. They attacked our soil. Right over there in New York City and right here in Washington. Here's the thing. Our military never should have let those pictures out. And I hold our leaders responsible."

See? You just have to have faith in our leaders.