Practicing for the Debates

There will be three Presidential debates: one debate will deal with international issues, another debate will deal with domestic issues, and I'm not sure what the third debate will deal with &8212; maybe Barry Bonds. I'm kidding. During times like these, when a ne'er-do-well wastrel like John F. Kerry wants to assume leadership of the most powerful country in the history of the world, it's important to add levity to the dire situation. In any case, Mr. George wants me to talk and act like John Kerry so that he can practice debating. At first, I was just going to change my mind about every issue &8212; I have heard rumors that Kerry flip-flops &8212; but I want to do more research. I am going to find out what Kerry stands for and represent him to the best of my abilities while participating in tomorrow's practice debates. I'm excited.